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When my new neighbours across moved in, I got a little more than just new neighbours. I got some visitors too, the unwanted type. Short ugly creatures, you know. The kind that would survive a nuclear holocaust. Who knows, maybe even a zombie apocalypse. Should we be invaded by zombies, these creatures would probably move in with them. They have a lot in common, all that ugly to start with.

Wait for it, drum rolls please…

There have been roach sightings in my flat ever since my lovely new neighbours came around. Roaches, in my house! I’m pretty certain there were none prior. And then, voila – new neighbours, roach sightings.

Drum rolls off please, you may now boo and eew.

And I’ll sing along with you. I absolutely abhor the creatures. Because of them, I’m a compulsive insecticide-sprayer. Every room in my flat has a can of Mortein Doom Fast Kill. Sounds effective, huh? It promises to ‘kill cockroaches and the eggs they carry.’ It doesn’t get much better than that in roach termination.

A girl’s bestfriend against Arthropods

Nightmares sometimes come true too, you know. I had never thought about it until I decided to take a trip to New Delhi over a year ago. I was working in Ahmedabad and thought I should tour a bit of the rest of India. A lovely friend at work got me in touch with a friend of hers in New Delhi, who agreed to book me a room in a student hostel so that I would find my accomodation waiting for me. At this point you’re probably wondering what any of this has to do with my neighbours and their roaches. Just hang in there for a bit longer, the end is nigh.

So I get to New Delhi, and eventually to the hostel, unfortunately at night. Un-huh. This room was like an anthill full of ants only this time they were bigger. Yes, roaches. Hoards and hoards of them. They were everywhere. What’s more, the roaches in Delhi did not scurry when they saw you coming. They just went about minding their own business, and you had to get out of their way. The shower, the toilet, the bed, they were everywhere, and I had no where else to spend the night. It was a nightmare.

Suffice it to say, I managed to stand on one foot in the shower and take what should be known as the shortest shower ever, in history. Let’s not even discuss how I managed to pee. I sat down on the bed to think things through and there they were, running about. I jumped up, pulled over the mattress and took a look under there. It was like the Egyptian plague all over again. These things were everywhere. I wandered how the regular occupants of this room managed to live there. Looking around for an option, I decided to pull over a chair, sit on that instead. As I took the books off of it, more roaches. Good Lord, did it never end! No, it did not. I could not sit, I could not sleep. I couldn’t take it anymore. Something must have told my mum I was in distress, because she called just then. I explained my predicament, she said talk to your friend that got you the room, can’t he find you some place else? I said it was too late in the night, he was simply helping me, I did not want to abuse his kindness.

Eventually I called him up, asked if he had some insecticide, said I could not sleep. He managed to get me a can (he lived in the same hostel, upstairs) but when I got back to my roach-infested room, I realised I couldn’t spray the room and stay in it. I’d have to get out for a while, and I had no where else to go. I did not use the insecticide. I spent that night sitting, waiting for daylight. Nightmare.

So how do you tell your neighbours they’ve infested your home? Do you walk over with a batch of sweet-smelling freshly-baked cookies, knock at the door, and offer a can of insecticide? What do you say, hi, I think the roaches I see at my place came from yours? There just no way to broach the subject.

So I’ve turned into a compulsive insecticide-sprayer. I resorted to spraying the floor around my doorway, make it inhospitable for anything with designs on my space or cupboards. I also spray said cupboards and windows at least once a weak, whether or not I see anything crawling about there.
Just asking, how much do you like your neighbours?

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